Funerals in Korea

I've lived on this peninsula for over 17 months now (Can you believe it?!). And so far, I have been to two funerals. The first one was immediately after I arrived here, as my director's relative had just passed and we needed to go there before heading to my apartment. At the time I wasn't sure what I was really being a part of since it's so different from what I was used to. I wasn't sure if I was at a memorial or an actual funeral. This question was answered about a month ago when my co-worker's sister passed away from cancer. All the teachers went as support and I soon came to realize it was the same proceedings as my first one.

I never really thought about it before, but most people, if not all, are cremated. This makes a lot of sense, considering how many people live in South Korea and how little land space they have. Funerals are not always carried out in a church or a funeral home. Both funerals I went to were held in hospitals. They have special areas and rooms for funerals. When my co-worker's sister passed, I was told to wear black clothes to school since we would be going to the funeral directly afterwards. So I dressed in my nicer clothes, because that's what you do back home. Well, I felt really overdressed, considering I never met the person, but I guess it's better to be overdressed than underdressed.

The way it's set up is there is a small room off to the side where the loved one's ashes, a nice picture and lots of flowers sit. People can go into this area and pay their respects. You see a lot of food offerings there too, which I think is for the family. Also, most guests put money in an envelope to give to the family. The rest of the space is a sitting area with tables (floor seating, traditional Korean style) and the family serves their guests a meal. I really cannot remember what I had at the first funeral, as I was exhausted from making my way to Korea, but at this last one we were served soybean soup, octopus, and an array of side dishes. To me it seems like more of a social gathering than anything else. My co-worker was really pleased we came and we got to hear about her sister a little bit. She was young, in her late forties and the cancer had taken over her whole body. We were only there less than an hour and to me it seemed like more of a dine and dash situation, but again my co-worker seemed pleased we came, so in the end it was worth it.

Funerals here are quite different from back home, in my experience. However, it has piqued my interest in learning about what other cultures traditionally do when a loved one passes. I'll have to look into it.